Rainbows Niagara Falls

Her shoulders caved in,
Bearing the weight of self-judgement and self-hatred.
Days flowed into nights without a notice,
For she was caught up in a volcano of emotions.
Sadness, anger, frustration, and anxiety swirled around in her,
There was no outlet, no escape route, no where to hide.
She wanted to disappear,
Fast and now.

With pigtails, swollen eyes and mucus filled nostrils,
She fantasized many a day a world that’s free from pain.
Her world was painted in black and white,
For she was never introduced to life’s full spectrum of colours.
The desire to jump off the edge of the cliff threatened her senses since childhood,
But as she wobbled on the edge, something pulled her back.
She didn’t realize it at time, but she understood the duality of opposites at a young age,
And the strength and power she had within that prevented her from plunging into the dark end.

A wanderer she eventually became,
Searching all around the globe for her sanity and truth.
She read in novels of a world painted in pink, gold and silver and longed to see them for herself;
The need to believe that there was indeed a world like such out there never became more important to this girl.
Far and wide, she travelled, shuffling her tiny feet through the dirt paths,
Trudging on with all the energy she could muster.
There was something special about this girl’s heart —
She never gave up her dream to see this wonderful spectrum of colours.
It became her life.

Perhaps it was fate or destiny,
But her path was crossed with mentors from all walks of life.
One by one, they imparted knowledge of life to this girl,
Their words filled with truth, kindness and love.
Then, they left the girl to struggle and make sense of this new-found knowledge,
They wanted her to grow into the woman she should be —
A woman of strength and power.

Struggle, this girl did,
But slowly and surely, she started to see speckles of rainbow colours infiltrate into her vision of sight.
She wanted to reach out to these colours,
To touch them — to feel and understand the wholeness of these colours.
But she feared,
She feared they would disappear like tiny soap bubbles that pop once touched.
She needed a box to keep these colours in,
A box that’s secure and only known to her.
She needed a safe.

Her search for a safe brought her on yet another journey,
An arduous and painful rollercoaster ride.
The corners were spiked with razor sharp swords,
Shaving every layer of her skin and soul at each turn.
A bath of salt grazed her wounds,
Copious amounts of black blood oozed out of the open sores.
The girl was thrown into a cycle of pain, liberation, and pain;
She was on ecstasy.

The ride is slowing down now,
With lesser corners, but she knows there are many more up ahead.
No longer does she want a safe,
For she knows of pain and suffering, and relishes in them.
She sees a world of colours now,
But she knows not to grasp or hold onto them.
The girl understands that she has a choice to live in this beautiful rainbow spectrum,
Or head back to the world of black and white she only knew of before.
She realizes there’s a strong need to relinquish fear and judgement from her being,
To allow her to feel and understand this gorgeous spectrum of colours.
For they do not simply pop or disappear at a mere touch,
But instead, they are in our existence to encourage us to feel, to love, to be whole.

This girl makes a commitment,
To never stop feeling, savouring, and appreciating this world of colours and beauty.
The ride will never be smooth, especially around the corners,
But this girl is willing to be wounded again.
With each open wound,
a new truth emerges.
She is a warrior now,
A peaceful one at that.
And she will live her truth,
For everyday till the end of time.