There are bound to be days where I don’t meet much conflict and I won’t have to practice choosing love and breathing courage, right? Not. The unfortunate truth. Or very fortunate. Depends on how you look at it.

I went on a bitch rant today. The storylines were relatively similar – I was in the right and they were in the wrong. Therefore, this was my ticket to allowing me to bitch about them.

Halfway through my rants, and for many split seconds that happened along the way, I paused a little and questioned, “how can I choose love over hate right now?” Unfortunately, before an answer was found, I would be right back on track with my bitch rants.

There are many ingrained patterns that will be tough to change, and I understand that. I haven’t practiced yoga nor meditation for a few days, and I feel my body becoming restless and less grounded. I know from experience that when this happens, it’s easier for me to be triggered by people and/or situation, sending me directly into the fight, flight and freeze mode.

The lesson I learned today however was to be compassionate towards myself. The civil rights movement didn’t gain recognition within a day – it took years before legal change happened. Mount Everest can’t be conquered in a day – it will take days. Everything takes work, but it really starts with pure awareness. Perhaps in future, I can stop myself from the rants. And instead of continuing on, I will really learn to question the hurt or agony that I was experiencing, and work from that space of healing myself instead of wanting to change another or the situation.